Failing at What Matters

“The loftiest things in life always end in failure.  …every successful person you see…will…fail at what matters to them most.  If you seek something worthwhile, seek failure.”
Conclusion:  “I fail at the most important things.”
— from Daily Afflictions: the agony of being connected to everything in the universe by Andrew Boyd.  (W. W. Norton & Co., 2002)

Mixed Media painting "Failure"

I fail at maintaining even the least demanding routines.  I fail at posting to my blog regularly.  I fail at exercising regularly.  I fail at staying in touch with friends and family.   I fail at running an online business.  I fail at having a career.  I fail at painting ’successful’ paintings.  

I won’t even try listing all my personal failures.  

I fail at everything important to me.

Perfection doesn’t exist; it’s an imaginary concept that humans invented to torture themselves with.  But I’m not even talking about falling short of perfection.  

I’m talking about always coming in so far below the line of acceptability that I might have well have stayed in bed and not wasted more paper, paint, ink, graphite, electricity, or effort.

But I do not quit.  At least not for long.  I cannot quit making art or stringing words together into sentences.  Believe me, I’ve tried.  I even fail at quitting.

I keep doing and I keep failing.

But at least I’m failing at important things. 

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